In the school of life, there are no paid instructors

So, here I am, got off work an hour ago. Gandharvas repeating on my Windows Media Player, neighbor upstairs tapdancing or some such thing, and I am thinking, breathing and thinking.

My phone is disconnected. Nothing announces your a broke ass disorganized citizen like your phone being cut off. Luckily I have my trusty pay as you go telus cellular so people can leave messages saying that either they don't know how to dial, or there is something straaaaaaaaange going on with your phone line.

Well guess what? I didn't get around to paying the damn thing. The truth? I can't keep up with everything I have plunked myself into. My summer break from school has turned into me treading water in my multi-faceted life where I try to juggle a child, 2 part-time serving jobs, a volunteer committment at a botanical garden and restructuring a student union while trying to start a non-profit organization of my own with a girl who just totally flaked out on me. Not to mention the tasks for the co-op housing board. In the wee hours and on my breaks I search the internet to search for day time employment for a non-profit as I am about to kill the next person who asks me the difference between the Roast Lamb and the Grilled Chicken Breast.

I thought I would learn networking and communication skills. What I learned out of all of this is:

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.

Why is this the hardest thing to learn? I want to stereotype this behaviour but I will refrain.

Okay, now that I read over the above paragraph it isn't so bad. I expect for me to be super multitasker, stretching myself thin because once I am done school, I don't want to work for anyone else........for that long. I want to be creative and passionate and drive my wealth through the advocation of social justice.

Can that even be done? Is that possible? Profiting off of fair, equitable society.
Of course there is. There has to be. The key, the elements to avoid the pits: DO NOT become impaled in the disappointments.

Shit will go wrong. People will lie and at times you will lose. Bad things come in threes, but some have relayed to me so does good.

Never trust too much, but when you do and you get burned, don't take anything personally.
Everything is a lesson. It is cliche, but really, sometimes reading and memorizing does not internalize the consequence. Sometimes only the experience can accomplish this.

I find we all kind of go around in this bubble of denial. We act as though using caution or awareness can be unnatural, almost paranoid. I personally loathe the kind of maintence material objects require. My car, this computer; Why should they warrant so much of my time?

Assuming responsibility has been a struggle. Probably because I have had some far sooner than I would have imagined. There is stilll this peice of me that just wants to get shitfaced, ball you out, smoke all your weed and learn to drive standard in your shiny restored bug.

There is another part of me that wants to roll into the parlimament building and remind the house that Stephen Harper is the symbol of Canada's biggest sellout. Well, that would of been Mulrooney. Same shit different pile. My father keeps slurrring to me that he once heard that every generation should live through a conservative government.

I can't help but think it's true. Fear is the greatest motivater. It is like that movie with Michael Douglas, The Game. If you haven't seen it, do.

Now, how do I motivate myself into fearing the bill collectors? After 3 years of student loans with a dependent, their 100 bucks seems like chump change. I laugh in the phase of your puny demands. Talk to me when my daughter can't pronounce the bottom line.

The point of this post, is to gain a point. I will summarize with this insight.

If you can't stop and smell the roses, at least check your temperature gauge to see if you are over heating....before your engine blows.